“This will be easy,” I thought. “I’m very weird.”
And then, nothing.
So I enlisted my family for help.
Madeline: How about your obsession with the computer?
Me: I get paid to sit in front of a computer all day. And anyway, we’re talking about blogland here. Spending a lot of time with your computer is not weird in this audience.
Madeline: Okay, how about your clothes? Grandma says you dress like a teenager.
Me: Oh really?
Madeline: Nevermind. I’ve said too much already.
Matt: How about whenever you get a headache you say to me, “It’s probably a tumor. Do you think it’s a tumor?”
Me: Okay. I’ll give you that one.
Matt: Huh, maybe you’re not as weird as I thought.
They were not much help, either.
So other than my wardrobe and my neurotic worries, here’s what I came up with:
1. I’m always looking for patterns in things. It’s not even a concious thing at first, more like an “oh, I’m doing it again” thing. The repeat in wallpaper, the drum or bass line in a song, the order of the colors of stripes in a throw rug.
Well duh, I’m a computer programmer.
2. Maybe this goes along with #1, but if you buy eggs from me you might notice that I always put the eggs in the carton in a certain order. Large in front, small in back, blue eggs placed in a zig-zag pattern amongst the brown eggs.
3. When I was 10 or 12 years old the subject of having children came up and I told my mother, “I’m having test tube babies.” Once she stopped laughing she informed me that they don’t grow in the test tube the whole time. Bummer. For a while my nickname was “Beaker”.
4. I’m ridiculously shy. It sounds downright stupid to be a shy 36-year-old. And then I worry that people won’t realize I’m shy, that they will simply think I’m stuck up or something. So I’m a shy, neurotic worrier.
5. Other people’s feet creep me out. (People over the age of 5, anyway.) But it’s okay if you want to rub mine.
So there you have it. 5 or 7 weird and rather boring things.
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