Fourteen years today. One college education, three homes, three kids, one rock band, three job changes, one renovation project from hell, and one farm later…we’re still here. And I suppose it’s only fair to note that most of those things were my doing, not his.
I read recently that after 14 years, the divorce rate drops to 2%. I hope this means we’re practically home free. I know we’ve both had thoughts that maybe we won’t make it. The fact that we’re both extremely stubborn may have lead to some of these moments, but it’s also what may have got us through them.
Other than being stubborn, we are really complete opposites. He is steady, patient, opinionated, knows exactly what he wants from life, sees most things in black and white. I am a roller coaster of emotions, very impatient, never quite sure where I stand in my opinions because I empathize with all sides, want everything from life, and see every shade of every color almost to the point of being blinded because it is just so overwhelming.
Sometimes these personalities compliment each other. Sometimes they simply drive the other one crazy.
I love that he loves me, still, despite nasty ugly fights in which nasty ugly things were said to each other. I love that he is a good father to our children. I love that he has never allowed himself to use his rather horrible upbringing as an excuse for anything. I love that he treats others with respect without regard to “status”. (Though a person has to learn not to confuse his –ahem– sometimes lack of tact with disrespect.) I love that he’s the hardest worker I know.
Things are just now starting to get a little easier. We’re just now coming up for air after the grueling years of early childrearing. (And I don’t even want to hear that it’s going to get grueling again once they’re teenagers, so keep it to yourself!) Madeline’s getting to babysitting age, allowing us to have dinner in town alone once in a while. For the first time in 6 years, we may actually play a round of golf together this summer. We’re starting to remember just why we fell in love with each other, getting back to being more than just co-parents.
Happy anniversary, babe. I can’t imagine being anywhere but here, with anyone but you.