What do you get when you send 2 girls to Fleet Farm to buy cattle panels with their father? A can of Flarp and a whole lotta fun.

I think this is Matt’s strategy for keeping the boys away when the girls are older. Make them as well-versed in the fine art of disgusting noises as possible. He won’t have to drive the boys away with a gun. The girls themselves will drive the boys away with their flatulance skills.

So far, though, it doesn’t seem to be working. Madeline has her first “real” boyfriend this year. It’s not like there’s much to having a boyfriend when you’re in the 4th grade. There’s no dating, no kissing, no hand-holding even. You buy each other candy. You might sit together at lunch sometimes.

It’s not working with Olivia, either. Last year – in kindergarten – the teacher had to have a talk with one of Olivia’s suitors who insisted on holding her hand in the lunch line and sitting beside her with his arm around her shoulders at circle time. Even though she’s our loudest child at home, at school she’s very very quiet. So her teacher intervened on her behalf and gave the boy a lesson in “personal space”.

I wonder if this will be one of the things they remember about their childhood – making their dad laugh out loud and their mom roll her eyes with a can of Flarp.

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2 Responses to Flarp

  1. Kids mature so much younger these days. Marry the girls off now. It will save you a fortune in wedding bills and give you more hands to help around the farm, tee,hee..

  2. Kelli,You may be off the track thinking that the Flarp skills your girls are gaining will repel boys – actually, I think the boys will be thrilled that they finally found a girl who appreciates the simple pleasures in life, as they do. If you want to turn them off to the common boy, have them memorize sonnets, expound about the laws of thermodynamics, and be strong enough to calf-rope them to into next week!

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