So I haven’t been here in this space in about 40 days now. This time of year (a.k.a. “volleyball season”) life is just full and busy. And most of the time I handle that pretty well. But there comes a point where I’m tired and things start to annoy me that ordinarily wouldn’t and I take things personally that I shouldn’t. I think thoughts that I wish I wouldn’t, and some of those thoughts unfortunately make their way out of my mouth. I’m embarrassed that I morph into “one of those people”… I can only plead human nature and beg forgiveness. I will try (again) to step back and see the big picture.
When I find myself in this vortex of suckitude, I pray. And I ask, what should I be doing?
And inevitably the answer seems to be, “Write”.
Write what, I ask. I don’t have anything to write about. When we were in the beginning stages of the farm, there was a lot to write about. But now the farm mostly hums right along, with nary any carnage in sight. I feel shy and vulnerable writing about personal stuff (like that first paragraph up there… it sort of terrifies me to put that all out there publicly, without even an accompanying photograph of a cute kitten to distract you.) I’m not funny enough to write comedy.
“Just write,” seems to be inevitable answer number 2.
And so as “this time of year” winds down, I’m going to just write. I may not always write here. I have my various notebooks I keep and up until now most of my personal stuff goes there. But I am going to try and use this space and write more personal stuff publicly. I think “story” is one of the most important human connections. In an age where we seem to only put on our game faces (to steal a phrase from “this time of year”) for our Facebook friends and blog readers and even our real-life acquaintances, it’s sometimes nice to hear that we’re not perfect all the time. More on that tomorrow…
1 year ago: