From my office window right now I can see Olivia sledding. On the one hand, I’m a pretty laid-back mom. On the other hand I’m a neurotic worrier who always imagines the worst. If I have the slightest ache or pain, I immediately assume I have a tumor.
So I’m watching Olivia sled towards the creek, thinking “I hope she doesn’t sled right into the creek” but not really feeling alarmed. There’s not much danger of it happening. It’s only a slight downward grade, and the bank is lined with trees and brush that would surely stop her before she plummeted into the icy cold waters of Sugar Creek. Then my neurosis kicks in…but if she worked up enough velocity and maneuvered the sled just so she might be able to do it. But the laid-back mom prevents neurotic mom from racing out there in my stocking feet, pulling her back to the house, and forcing her to do something safe like a puzzle. (I guess at 7 1/2 she’s old enough not to swallow any pieces.) Now she’s just lying on her back in the snow contemplating the sky. I remember days like that.
I also remember sledding down a tree-studded ravine. My brother and the neighbor girl were in a plastic toboggan and I was holding onto their sled from behind, lying on my stomach in my sled. The front sled went around a tree, I went headfirst into the tree and knocked myself right out. I came to, and my brother and I walked the half-mile home. My mom put me on the couch and told me not to fall asleep in case I had a concussion. So maybe that’s where I get my laid-back/neurotic mother duality. On the one hand she let us go sledding a half-mile away where she couldn’t even see us. That was pretty laid-back of her. On the other hand the whole don’t fall asleep thing had me terrified to sleep for several days. I kept waking up in the night with a start wondering if I was dead or alive.
Didn’t get any seed started yesterday like I planned. Matt and I stayed out too late on Saturday night playing 500. I’ve fallen out of stay-out-all-night condition since I left the band . Instead I took the girls shopping after church Sunday, then came home and made a big Sunday dinner…bbq pork ribs, roasted asparagus, and homemade oven fries. And then I pretty much crashed. Going to try and do some seed starting tonight.